i’m slightly inspirationless at the moment, but nonetheless, i’m 100% happy. i’ve been so angry and stressed and upset and whatever for a while, but now i have no reason to be, for the most part. i’m not trapped in my hell hole of a house as much, my girlfriend is happy, shaggy is happy, everyone is getting along, i have succeeded at getting rid of all the drama that went down in the last few weeks. erasing the people from your life who cause nothing but negativity, self-doubt, hatred, and anger could be one of the best things one can do, and i’m so glad i did it. seeing old friends makes me feel so refreshed and i’m determined to not let my inner demons and outside forces get the best of me again. i’m better than that. 　

I can’t fucking hold all this shit inside much longer. I hate having to be the strong one all the fucking time. I’m the one with fucking cancer, but everyone around me is looking for the pity. They’re trying to get attention off of my fucking disease, what the fuck. This is the lowest i’ve ever been in my life, and it’s only getting worse. I’m only truly happy when I’m around my girlfriend, and lately that’s only at school, and I fucking hate that. I hate sleeping for only 2 or 3 hours at night. I hate the fact that everyone’s calender is suddenly empty now that they know I have cancer. I hate they way people look at me like I’m a fucking mutant. I hate not being able to spend time in the sun like a normal fucking person. I can’t decide whether to punch a wall until my hand breaks or to just lie down until i sink into the floor.　

and no matter how hard i tried, i could never get the list right. i’d always either forget a song or get stumped on what order to put them in and it’s just so stressful

but i’m gonna do my best and try not to miss a song. but i’m not gonna put them in any particular order because i tried to do that with movies once and it just didn’t work at all lol

soooooo

here are my favorite songs of all time

• champagne supernova - oasis
• behind blue eyes - limp bizkit
• when the levee breaks - led zeppelin
• yesterday - the beatles
• name - goo goo dolls
• let her cry - hootie & the blowfish
• love is what i got - sublime
• wet sand - red hot chili peppers
• black - pearl jam
• millstone - brand new
• a long december - counting crows
• aneurysm - nirvana
• wish you were here - pink floyd
• after the storm - mumford & sons
• slowride - foghat
• sing for the moment - eminem
• no lies just love - bright eyes
• get depressed - atmosphere
• the sound of silence - simon & garfunkel
• wasting time - kid rock
• here i go again - whitesnake
• alibi - 30 seconds to mars
• skinny love - bon iver
• boston - augustana
• time to pretend - mgmt
• i can feel a hot one - manchester orchestra
• the world i know - collective soul
• epiphany - staind
• you make my dreams - hal & oates
• perfect - simple plan
• my hero - foo fighters
• by the throat - eyedea & abilities
• how’s it gonna be - third eye blind
• fast car - tracy chapman
• pale blue eyes - lou reed
• when you were young - the killers
• still don’t give a fuck - eminem
• would it matter - skillet
• old apartment - barenaked ladies
• drugs or me - jimmy eat world
• lonely day - system of a down

okay yeah no i definitely forgot some

i suck at this

but yeah i highly recommend listening to all of the above if you haven’t already

so it took a lot of persuasion, but shaggy finally convinced me to trade in my mustang

it took literally 5 seconds for me to decide on a car because i immediately fell in love with this beauty

and now it is mine

2007 infiniti g35 

i’m literally in love